I am fortunate to have the honor to spend time with a friend that has been living the principles of recovery for nearly 50 years. He has been sober for as long as I have been alive. We usually have lunch together on Thursday. This week we discussed two issues that I have decided to write about. The first I will call HOPE. I could write for days on hope it is a topic with several subtopics. The hope I am addressing is the ongoing hope for a better future that is essential for lasting recovery.
I had a friend I will call him Pat. Pat had some anger issues however for all intents and purposes Pat seemed to have everything he wanted in life. I remember talking to him about his life. He was fifty plus years of age, sober for years and he worked as an ironworker for the city of New York. He had cars, a motorcycle, a home, money saved, meticulously groomed, a young girl friend and more. He was open about it and would tell me how good he had it. His job was a cushion job. He was a Union Iron Worker for NYC civil service. He loved the job, it was a piece of cake compared to his Union brothers in the same field that worked for contractors.
I did not see Pat for quite awhile and one day I ran into him at the bakery. He looked terrible. He had gained at least 50 lbs and he looked like his blood pressure was high! He said that he had a problem on the job and the City no longer required his services. He was back working the Bridges with his Union brothers. He said it was torturous for him. He was extremely angry, bitter, resentful and negative. A couple of years later I heard Pat had died, miserably.
How does that happen? A guy that seems to have everything he could ever want. He was outspoken about how good his life was. Yet a few years later he is dead! Drinking and drugging had robbed his dignity, again. He died a painful, lonely, horrendous death.
The “crack-pot functionalists” looking at this would say, “I bet he stopped going to meetings!” That is a natural thought. But it was a bi-product of the damage that Pat had already done to himself. Pat set himself up for this very early in his recovery. In the lp “The Strangest Secret” one of the very first recordings on the “Law of Attraction”, Earl Nightingale states that the challenge with mankind is they conform. They accept their lot in life. They fail to think and strive.
Why do people think this way? I recently read a book by Andy Stanley, “It Came From Within”. Andy points out that it is a challenge with the heart that creates the thinking that we should stop striving to become more. Pats goal was to enjoy his life, save for early retirement and then sit on his ass and do nothing! His words not mine. Striving for more is not about money. Striving for more is about impact. We are all called to be somebody to do something special.
Sure acceptance is key to recovery and sanity. However, giving up is not acceptance. My friend Jack is sober 48 years and continues to have goals and dreams. People that do not have direction will ultimately pay the price. I am not against retirement or enjoying the fruits of your labor. I am pro-active. Hope is not unattainable wishes or crazy dreams. Hope is essential for life, abundant life. Recovery requires it. Spirituality requires it. Humanity requires it. In our outline for life we will be amazed before we are half way through... A New Freedom.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Hope
I am fortunate to have the honor to spend time with a friend that has been living the principles of recovery for nearly 50 years. He has been sober for as long as I have been alive. We usually have lunch together on Thursday. This week we discussed two issues that I have decided to write about. The first I will call HOPE. I could write for days on hope it is a topic with several subtopics. The hope I am addressing is the ongoing hope for a better future that is essential for lasting recovery.
I had a friend I will call him Pat. Pat had some anger issues however for all intents and purposes Pat seemed to have everything he wanted in life. I remember talking to him about his life. He was fifty plus years of age, sober for years and he worked as an ironworker for the city of New York. He had cars, a motorcycle, a home, money saved, meticulously groomed, a young girl friend and more. He was open about it and would tell me how good he had it. His job was a cushion job. He was a Union Iron Worker for NYC civil service. He loved the job, it was a piece of cake compared to his Union brothers in the same field that worked for contractors.
I did not see Pat for quite awhile and one day I ran into him at the bakery. He looked terrible. He had gained at least 50 lbs and he looked like his blood pressure was high! He said that he had a problem on the job and the City no longer required his services. He was back working the Bridges with his Union brothers. He said it was torturous for him. He was extremely angry, bitter, resentful and negative. A couple of years later I heard Pat had died, miserably.
How does that happen? A guy that seems to have everything he could ever want. He was outspoken about how good his life was. Yet a few years later he is dead! Drinking and drugging had robbed his dignity, again. He died a painful, lonely, horrendous death.
The “crack-pot functionalists” looking at this would say, “I bet he stopped going to meetings!” That is a natural thought. But it was a bi-product of the damage that Pat had already done to himself. Pat set himself up for this very early in his recovery. In the lp “The Strangest Secret” one of the very first recordings on the “Law of Attraction”, Earl Nightingale states that the challenge with mankind is they conform. They accept their lot in life. They fail to think and strive.
Why do people think this way? I recently read a book by Andy Stanley, “It Came From Within”. Andy points out that it is a challenge with the heart that creates the thinking that we should stop striving to become more. Pats goal was to enjoy his life, save for early retirement and then sit on his ass and do nothing! His words not mine. Striving for more is not about money. Striving for more is about impact. We are all called to be somebody to do something special.
Sure acceptance is key to recovery and sanity. However, giving up is not acceptance. My friend Jack is sober 48 years and continues to have goals and dreams. People that do not have direction will ultimately pay the price. I am not against retirement or enjoying the fruits of your labor. I am pro-active. Hope is not unattainable wishes or crazy dreams. Hope is essential for life, abundant life. Recovery requires it. Spirituality requires it. Humanity requires it. In our outline for life we will be amazed before we are half way through... A New Freedom.
I had a friend I will call him Pat. Pat had some anger issues however for all intents and purposes Pat seemed to have everything he wanted in life. I remember talking to him about his life. He was fifty plus years of age, sober for years and he worked as an ironworker for the city of New York. He had cars, a motorcycle, a home, money saved, meticulously groomed, a young girl friend and more. He was open about it and would tell me how good he had it. His job was a cushion job. He was a Union Iron Worker for NYC civil service. He loved the job, it was a piece of cake compared to his Union brothers in the same field that worked for contractors.
I did not see Pat for quite awhile and one day I ran into him at the bakery. He looked terrible. He had gained at least 50 lbs and he looked like his blood pressure was high! He said that he had a problem on the job and the City no longer required his services. He was back working the Bridges with his Union brothers. He said it was torturous for him. He was extremely angry, bitter, resentful and negative. A couple of years later I heard Pat had died, miserably.
How does that happen? A guy that seems to have everything he could ever want. He was outspoken about how good his life was. Yet a few years later he is dead! Drinking and drugging had robbed his dignity, again. He died a painful, lonely, horrendous death.
The “crack-pot functionalists” looking at this would say, “I bet he stopped going to meetings!” That is a natural thought. But it was a bi-product of the damage that Pat had already done to himself. Pat set himself up for this very early in his recovery. In the lp “The Strangest Secret” one of the very first recordings on the “Law of Attraction”, Earl Nightingale states that the challenge with mankind is they conform. They accept their lot in life. They fail to think and strive.
Why do people think this way? I recently read a book by Andy Stanley, “It Came From Within”. Andy points out that it is a challenge with the heart that creates the thinking that we should stop striving to become more. Pats goal was to enjoy his life, save for early retirement and then sit on his ass and do nothing! His words not mine. Striving for more is not about money. Striving for more is about impact. We are all called to be somebody to do something special.
Sure acceptance is key to recovery and sanity. However, giving up is not acceptance. My friend Jack is sober 48 years and continues to have goals and dreams. People that do not have direction will ultimately pay the price. I am not against retirement or enjoying the fruits of your labor. I am pro-active. Hope is not unattainable wishes or crazy dreams. Hope is essential for life, abundant life. Recovery requires it. Spirituality requires it. Humanity requires it. In our outline for life we will be amazed before we are half way through... A New Freedom.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Failure is not fatal…
I have failed numerous times in my life. When I do, I always go back to the one issue that has saved me. I stopped drinking and drugging. In the past I have reflected on failure and said to myself; “self, look at you what you have done now, what kind of example are you?”
When that happens, I always go back and say "CLEAR"! I clear that thought from my mind. Sometimes quickly and sometimes slowly, but I clear the thought and move forward. Get the failure thoughts out of my head and replace it with a success thought. The thought I need to focus on.
When it comes to failure, in the Secret James Arthur Ray says, “that is not who you are, that is who you were”! So as much as I have failed I must look at it as another "Mulligan". It is an opportunity to change directions. I thank God that I am sober. My thinking and choices that got me to the failure may not have been sober thinking, but thank God I am sober. I now have the opportunity as a sober person to "CLEAR" and move on to positive.
I can tell you I have had failures and I have done foolish things sober. I know if a drunken horse thief stops drinking the only thing he is now is a horse thief that does not drink! So my thinking which creates my actions need to change.
Make the decision to rid the things that create challenges in life. How do I change? I must focus on what I now want. I must choose to clear my thinking as quickly as I possibly can when a negative thought arises. Because negativity will arise in the way we think. We were programmed from childhood that way. “No” was the dominant word used in our home.
Once I make the decision I need to act upon that decision. I need to write down on paper the decision. I need to write out what my strategy will be to attain the decision. This decision could be a goal to attain something or it may be a behavior that I am no longer willing to accept.
In matters of behavioral change, it is best to tell a person I consider a mentor. If I have recently acted in a way that hurt another human being I need to make amends immediately. This is an important aspect of successful eradication of behaviors that hurt me or others.
In matters of goal setting, it is imperative that I write down the goal. Make a firm commitment to attain that goal. Make a firm commitment that I will attain that goal utilizing strategies that are ethical, moral and legal.
At the Last Resort Pa, we focus on assisting you to develop the tools necessary to live a recovered life. The tools you need to set goals and attain a life full of joy and freedom. Success depends on the implementation of these strategies.
When that happens, I always go back and say "CLEAR"! I clear that thought from my mind. Sometimes quickly and sometimes slowly, but I clear the thought and move forward. Get the failure thoughts out of my head and replace it with a success thought. The thought I need to focus on.
When it comes to failure, in the Secret James Arthur Ray says, “that is not who you are, that is who you were”! So as much as I have failed I must look at it as another "Mulligan". It is an opportunity to change directions. I thank God that I am sober. My thinking and choices that got me to the failure may not have been sober thinking, but thank God I am sober. I now have the opportunity as a sober person to "CLEAR" and move on to positive.
I can tell you I have had failures and I have done foolish things sober. I know if a drunken horse thief stops drinking the only thing he is now is a horse thief that does not drink! So my thinking which creates my actions need to change.
Make the decision to rid the things that create challenges in life. How do I change? I must focus on what I now want. I must choose to clear my thinking as quickly as I possibly can when a negative thought arises. Because negativity will arise in the way we think. We were programmed from childhood that way. “No” was the dominant word used in our home.
Once I make the decision I need to act upon that decision. I need to write down on paper the decision. I need to write out what my strategy will be to attain the decision. This decision could be a goal to attain something or it may be a behavior that I am no longer willing to accept.
In matters of behavioral change, it is best to tell a person I consider a mentor. If I have recently acted in a way that hurt another human being I need to make amends immediately. This is an important aspect of successful eradication of behaviors that hurt me or others.
In matters of goal setting, it is imperative that I write down the goal. Make a firm commitment to attain that goal. Make a firm commitment that I will attain that goal utilizing strategies that are ethical, moral and legal.
At the Last Resort Pa, we focus on assisting you to develop the tools necessary to live a recovered life. The tools you need to set goals and attain a life full of joy and freedom. Success depends on the implementation of these strategies.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Pass it on...
I was reading a story this morning about Joe Girard. Joe is listed in the Guiness Book of World records as "The Worlds Greatest Salesman". Joe credits his success to a visit to a friends funeral. At the funeral he asked the Funeral Director how he decides how many Mass cards to print. The response was simple and changed Joe's perspective. On average 250 people attend a funeral.
You may be thinking what does this have to do with recovery and me? I once heard someone say "If Bill did not go to see Dr. Bob in the hospital there would be no 12 step programs"! There are people right now that need help. They think they are alone. Family and friends may have given up on them, or are on the verge of throwing in the towel. On average we all know 250 people that would come to our funeral. If you are married double that number! How many of those folks have a potential issue with alcohol or drug use? Maybe someone you know needs drug and alcohol rehab!
We all get the emails pass it on or else.... You know exactly what I am talking about. Heck, I have passed them on at times for the value of the message. I checked my personal email contact list and I have over 1,100 people in my address book. I have several email accounts I suspect that my contacts are well into the thousands... You may be reading this because you are active in your own recovery or maybe you are a professional in the field. Either way passing on the message is simple go to your email contact list and pass it on...
If you are reading this you are probably aware of the help we offer folks at The Last Resort Pa. We are more than a rehab, we are a conduit to recovery, we are focused on the strengths of an individual. We apply a unique method with the participant as they chose LIFE over death. To find out more please visit us at www.TheLastResortPa.com and take the time today to Pass it on....
You may be thinking what does this have to do with recovery and me? I once heard someone say "If Bill did not go to see Dr. Bob in the hospital there would be no 12 step programs"! There are people right now that need help. They think they are alone. Family and friends may have given up on them, or are on the verge of throwing in the towel. On average we all know 250 people that would come to our funeral. If you are married double that number! How many of those folks have a potential issue with alcohol or drug use? Maybe someone you know needs drug and alcohol rehab!
We all get the emails pass it on or else.... You know exactly what I am talking about. Heck, I have passed them on at times for the value of the message. I checked my personal email contact list and I have over 1,100 people in my address book. I have several email accounts I suspect that my contacts are well into the thousands... You may be reading this because you are active in your own recovery or maybe you are a professional in the field. Either way passing on the message is simple go to your email contact list and pass it on...
If you are reading this you are probably aware of the help we offer folks at The Last Resort Pa. We are more than a rehab, we are a conduit to recovery, we are focused on the strengths of an individual. We apply a unique method with the participant as they chose LIFE over death. To find out more please visit us at www.TheLastResortPa.com and take the time today to Pass it on....
Friday, June 6, 2008
Attraction Stones
My whole life I had the inner desire to “Be Somebody”. I wanted to make a difference in the world. In the 4th grade things started to really go downhill for me. Ten years of age and I had already begun the process of giving up and I did not even know it. By the time I was in Junior High School, smoking marijuana had begun. Partying on the weekends had spilled over to “blowing a joint” before class. No need to expand upon the specifics but you can imagine the progression from there.
In 1980 I began the process of life-long recovery. It was in that process that I was first introduced to carrying around a reminder in my pocket about my focus in life. I carried a poker chip with a quarter taped on the back. The chip was to remind me of my choice to live a life free of all foreign substances. The quarter was there just in case I felt I could not do it any longer. I could tear the quarter off and call a friend for support (No cell Phones then).
I thought that education would be the answer to achieving my goal to be someone special. My goals at the time did not include building personal wealth. By 1990 money began to become an issue. I remember one day I was driving with my wife and I said to her, “If I could only make $1,000 a week everything would be OK”. Her response was the beginning of my desire to build wealth, she said, “$1,000 a week? That’s it?” I was raised in a family that focused on paying your bills and being the best human being you could be that was the standard. This concept of building wealth was new to me.
Sometime in the mid-90’s my wife came home from a spiritual retreat with a gift for me. It was an “Integrity Stone” and she had a “Gratitude Rock” for herself. We carried those around with us for years. Every time I touched that stone it reminded me of my goals and my commitment to integrity.
My pursuit of creating wealth began with advancing my education, I returned to college to attain my undergraduate degree. That produced more income but not enough to ever acquire any real wealth. I thought an advanced degree would be the answer. I was wrong again!
In 1998 I was introduced to a network marketing company. The folks in that company were positive, grateful and caring people. They encouraged me to read self-development books and work on “my thinking”. In 2001 I won a company incentive trip to the “Grand Wailea” in Maui Hawaii. It was there that I was given a stone in a restaurant at the top of the resort. It was a blue sapphire looking stone. It came with a card that outlined the “majestic” powers that were bestowed upon anyone that possessed the stone. Hey it was free! But I carried that stone for quite sometime.
In 2006 I came across the DVD “The Secret” the comprehensive video on the law of attraction. http://www.thesecret.tv/ It came at a low point in my life physically, mentally, spiritually and financially. Wow it brought together everything I had learned in my quest for self-development. I watched the video every day for a month, and then a few times a week for quite some time thereafter. I had short pauses in my viewing because I would give my copy away to some one in need!
Three features offered my “aha” moments. I had made “vision boards” in the past. But they never seemed to materialize anything of real substance in my life. However, during the segment with John Assarf and his son I found myself overwhelmed and weeping. I just knew that my life had hit the turning point I had only dreamed of. Within a year I had attained most of the things I had placed on that board.
The second feature that stood out for me was the suggestion to take my bank statement and white out the old values and place in the values I wanted in the account. I did exactly that I had three separate bank accounts at different banks. None of them with any money other than put and take cash in them. So I used the statement from the bank I rarely utilized and stroked my pen to show a $100,000 balance. Low and behold, in that exact bank in less than one year there was more than that amount.
The third feature that stood out for me was the segment on the “Gratitude Rock”. My experience utilizing stones and coins in the past reinforced my belief that this was a great idea for me to stay focused on the right things! That is exactly what I did as well.
In October 2007 we had just purchased a couple of acres of beachfront property on Isla Boca Brava. A small island on the Pacific “Gold Coast” of Panama, in the Province of Chiriqui. One day I was on the beach getting ready to take a swim in the incredibly warm pristine waters of the Gulf of Chiriqui. As I was walking down the path that leads to my beach an Indigenous gentleman approached me with a friendly greeting. Quite frankly, this was not something that I had come to expect from an Indigenous fellow. Typically the Indigenous folks keep to them selves. They rarely converse with the Panamanian people let alone an American. Yet with my broken Spanish we conversed for a brief time. He reached down and picked up a small stone off the beach. He handed the stone to me as a gift and briefly explained the “Majestic Nature” of the stones from the beach. These “Attraction Stones” are the answer to your quest in all of the areas of your life.
I carry this attraction stone with me for a higher purpose today. Somewhere in my thinking I began to mistake the acquisition of wealth as the goal. My priorities began to be the pursuit of things rather than living balanced.
There is a lot that I have learned from my experience here in Panama. Panamanian people are some of the happiest people on the planet. www.happyplanetindex.org/index.htm. Panama has a ranking of #5 out of 178 Countries. The Panamanian government posted a second straight year of fiscal surplus. Prudence, happiness, and a strong Spiritual belief and values are the cornerstones of Panamanian life. These “Attraction Stones” remind me to embrace the Panamanian “Majestic Nature”.
Be Blessed,
Dan
In 1980 I began the process of life-long recovery. It was in that process that I was first introduced to carrying around a reminder in my pocket about my focus in life. I carried a poker chip with a quarter taped on the back. The chip was to remind me of my choice to live a life free of all foreign substances. The quarter was there just in case I felt I could not do it any longer. I could tear the quarter off and call a friend for support (No cell Phones then).
I thought that education would be the answer to achieving my goal to be someone special. My goals at the time did not include building personal wealth. By 1990 money began to become an issue. I remember one day I was driving with my wife and I said to her, “If I could only make $1,000 a week everything would be OK”. Her response was the beginning of my desire to build wealth, she said, “$1,000 a week? That’s it?” I was raised in a family that focused on paying your bills and being the best human being you could be that was the standard. This concept of building wealth was new to me.
Sometime in the mid-90’s my wife came home from a spiritual retreat with a gift for me. It was an “Integrity Stone” and she had a “Gratitude Rock” for herself. We carried those around with us for years. Every time I touched that stone it reminded me of my goals and my commitment to integrity.
My pursuit of creating wealth began with advancing my education, I returned to college to attain my undergraduate degree. That produced more income but not enough to ever acquire any real wealth. I thought an advanced degree would be the answer. I was wrong again!
In 1998 I was introduced to a network marketing company. The folks in that company were positive, grateful and caring people. They encouraged me to read self-development books and work on “my thinking”. In 2001 I won a company incentive trip to the “Grand Wailea” in Maui Hawaii. It was there that I was given a stone in a restaurant at the top of the resort. It was a blue sapphire looking stone. It came with a card that outlined the “majestic” powers that were bestowed upon anyone that possessed the stone. Hey it was free! But I carried that stone for quite sometime.
In 2006 I came across the DVD “The Secret” the comprehensive video on the law of attraction. http://www.thesecret.tv/ It came at a low point in my life physically, mentally, spiritually and financially. Wow it brought together everything I had learned in my quest for self-development. I watched the video every day for a month, and then a few times a week for quite some time thereafter. I had short pauses in my viewing because I would give my copy away to some one in need!
Three features offered my “aha” moments. I had made “vision boards” in the past. But they never seemed to materialize anything of real substance in my life. However, during the segment with John Assarf and his son I found myself overwhelmed and weeping. I just knew that my life had hit the turning point I had only dreamed of. Within a year I had attained most of the things I had placed on that board.
The second feature that stood out for me was the suggestion to take my bank statement and white out the old values and place in the values I wanted in the account. I did exactly that I had three separate bank accounts at different banks. None of them with any money other than put and take cash in them. So I used the statement from the bank I rarely utilized and stroked my pen to show a $100,000 balance. Low and behold, in that exact bank in less than one year there was more than that amount.
The third feature that stood out for me was the segment on the “Gratitude Rock”. My experience utilizing stones and coins in the past reinforced my belief that this was a great idea for me to stay focused on the right things! That is exactly what I did as well.
In October 2007 we had just purchased a couple of acres of beachfront property on Isla Boca Brava. A small island on the Pacific “Gold Coast” of Panama, in the Province of Chiriqui. One day I was on the beach getting ready to take a swim in the incredibly warm pristine waters of the Gulf of Chiriqui. As I was walking down the path that leads to my beach an Indigenous gentleman approached me with a friendly greeting. Quite frankly, this was not something that I had come to expect from an Indigenous fellow. Typically the Indigenous folks keep to them selves. They rarely converse with the Panamanian people let alone an American. Yet with my broken Spanish we conversed for a brief time. He reached down and picked up a small stone off the beach. He handed the stone to me as a gift and briefly explained the “Majestic Nature” of the stones from the beach. These “Attraction Stones” are the answer to your quest in all of the areas of your life.
I carry this attraction stone with me for a higher purpose today. Somewhere in my thinking I began to mistake the acquisition of wealth as the goal. My priorities began to be the pursuit of things rather than living balanced.
There is a lot that I have learned from my experience here in Panama. Panamanian people are some of the happiest people on the planet. www.happyplanetindex.org/index.htm. Panama has a ranking of #5 out of 178 Countries. The Panamanian government posted a second straight year of fiscal surplus. Prudence, happiness, and a strong Spiritual belief and values are the cornerstones of Panamanian life. These “Attraction Stones” remind me to embrace the Panamanian “Majestic Nature”.
Be Blessed,
Dan
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Once I get through this, I will be OK....
We have all had the experience of a stressful "life challenge" along the way. However, that is all it is, a stressful life challenge along the way! Along the way to what? To where? You have heard it said, "Life is a Journey". (I will leave the afterlife talk to those folks that are willing to join the debate club.) Life is a journey to be enjoyed daily. Without getting into the frustrating and sometimes depressing questions of "what am I here for ?" Please think about your purpose. You have a purpose. Part of that purpose requires happiness. Yes, it REQUIRES happiness. Take a positive inventory of your life, a gratitude list. Start from where you are. Always and I mean this very strongly, always refrain from comparing yourself to anyone or to where you think you oughta be! It is a losing venture. Winners do not walk that road. What are my strengths in relationships? Producing income? What do I enjoy? Focus on your strengths. What do I want to be? Do? Have? Your virtues are an indicator of your purpose.
Over the past 28 years I have made mistakes, some very big mistakes, some life changing mistakes. But that is all they are, mistakes. They created an opportunity for me to change direction, or to correct my focus. As I look back I can see that all of my "life challenges" came from my choices and actions. They created who I was at that given time. What they did was allow me the opportunity to grow into who I wanted to be. I often found myself thinking, "if I can only get through this..... I will be OK"! Wrong, wrong, wrong... I will get through anything that occurs in my life. I will use the positive as a building block and the negative to grow from.
Life is good, no life is great! Choose life, live life to the fullest. Be, do, have and enjoy the journey! You are worth it and you want it, so go and get it! It is yours.
Stay Hungry,
Dan :)
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