Overcoming False Associations

I enjoy watching movies especially in the theatre. I love the sound and size of the big-screen, it has always been a wonderful way for me to relax. Obviously, I do not go to thrillers or Sci-Fi. However, I do enjoy the action packed movies as well. I like the way a movie can take you through several emotions and leave you with an all is well outcome!

In fact one of the tools we discuss in early recovery is “I” over “E”, intellect over emotion. In any situation that feels overwhelming we must “Think” it out. Utilizing the “I” over “E” formula takes the emotion out of the situation so that we can get through the challenge without succumbing to relapse. Once again it takes practice and a sincere desire to change.

Often when we begin to teach this approach folks balk. We have been conditioned to believe that we are not in control of our emotions. We have this terrible belief that we are slaves to our emotions. I have heard people say, “I drink or drug to numb these emotions”. “I cannot control these feelings!”

That is the furthest thing form the truth, in fact, here is how I prove to them why that is a false belief. Lets go back to the movie, have you ever gone to a “Drama” movie? Did it begin giving you a background of the characters and then take you to an emotional roller coaster? If you are like me you cry at the show, but ultimately by the end of the movie the director has taken you full circle and leaves you with a happy ending. So in two hours or less you have felt joy, apprehension, fear, anger, sadness and then happiness! You can do that in your life as well.

Yes I understand it is a movie but you can take control by conditioning yourself starting with the small stuff. Practice by questioning your false associations. What are false associations? Simply the negative messages we say to ourselves. Things like, I “never” get it right! I will “never” get this! Simply the messages that we have that lead us to the “F_ck” its! If you continue to question them the “Truth” will emerge! Life is good and so are you, seize the day…

Living in the Day, it takes practice!

When it comes to facing life’s challenges folks in recovery are typically taught to live in the day. In other words we cannot overcome a major issue all at once. Take the time to evaluate the situation and not project what the outcome will be. In early recovery we tend to project the result as a negative outcome. Often these negative projections lead to “analysis paralysis”. We freeze!

When we freeze it only hurts our progress. Typically, only negative results occur from this form of inaction. The key is not to lose control of your emotions, stay in the moment and in control when everything around you is out of control. You must focus on where you want to go and not on your fear.

How do you accomplish this? It takes practice start with the little things that come up. I was recently reminded of a technique to utilize when your car is out of control. It is strongly recommended to focus on where you want the car to head rather then on where you do not want the vehicle to end up. In other words focus on the open road and not the trees! This is exactly what we need to do in our lives. Focus on where we want to go in life rather than on where we do not want to go.

Focus equals Power, focus enough on what you want and you will condition yourself to steer out of the spin in total control.