The Culture of Treatment, sending the wrong message?

Somewhere along the line of history an attitude of complete equality has emerged in our world. It is certainly understandable when it comes to matters of race, sex, or sexual orientation to name a few. However a culture of “Fairness” has emerged in our world like a plague. Nowhere has it hindered progress as much as it has in the treatment arena.

Success Principle, Treat everyone fairly but not the same. Thomas Edison once said, “There are no rules around here, we are trying to get something done!”

I recently spoke with an upset young lady at our center. She had attended a treatment program recently and relapsed within a week. Her main contention was that the facility she spent $30,000 to attend was not fair. They had rules and they were not adhered to and that is why she relapsed. She went on and on about the issues from fraternization to drinking in program. I listened.

I then asked her, what did someone else drinking have to do with her? Her response started with “well it puts me at risk, it is not safe”. That response reminded me of a Social Worker bitch session at lunch. Not safe? Did the person that drank force alcohol down your throat? “Well no” was the response, “you do not understand, we all signed an agreement that said if you drink you will be kicked out of treatment! They let the guy stay and that is not fair. They are hypocrites!”

Is there credibility in her feelings? Yes, however is there possibly more to it? I spent some time discussing this issue with her. Starting with the idea that recovering is work, it is hard work. It requires some serious focus. It requires making changes, changes in the way we think and the things that we do. Learning techniques that support healthy living as opposed to reactionary living. Using outside distractions to avoid the work is typical. Taking responsibility for recovery is essential.

What if you could learn something about yourself? What if you could find a method that keeps you from doing the same? What can you learn from this? Why is being fair so important to you? Besides a person spraying a machine gun through your group nothing that anyone else does will kill you and if it does not kill you it has the potential to help you grow. This is not a “black and white” issue her response comes from a culture of “musts”. If you do this you WILL drink or drug! There is an alternative to this judgmental thinking.

For instance could recovery be a matter of Discovery? Learning how to handle challenges as they emerge? What if there is another way of looking at things? Is it possible to increase an individuals desire to recover? Does it require black and white strategies? The treatment model employed nationally has serious flaws. Black and white thinking is damaging. Undoubtedly there are benefits however the negatives outweigh the positives. The model has created a culture of failure. It baffles me to hear some of the ideas of how things are or oughta be!

Similar to the pervasive negative attitude of fairness of our world when it comes to treatment it becomes all the more detrimental to the recovery process. It is often the first issue that we must address in our self-directed approach. No two people are the same. Therefore no two paths will be the same. Therefore we treat every one fairly but not the same.

What exactly does that mean? Lets start with an example. In the 1980’s Michael Jordan and Dennis Rodman played on the National Basketball Association Championship Team the Chicago Bulls. I remember Dennis Rodman seemed to be a magnet for trouble. In fact I believe he was suspended for being late to a team practice. Now let me ask you, do you think Michael Jordan would have been suspended if he was late for the same practice? For many reasons “No”. Was Dennis Rodman treated fairly?

We are all different we all require different game plans to achieve success. If you are looking to recover from alcoholism or addiction there is help available. If you are looking for fairness to get well, you may have a challenge. Do not allow your self to get trapped into this oppressive way of thinking.

Amazing things happen to people with this approach. Over the next few days I will share with you stories of people that have responded to this recovery modality.